Please make sure you give her a stuffed animal at nap, dilute her juice, and have her wash her hands…
These are just some of the many phrases that you may hear a mom speak as she hands off her kid to someone else to head to work. Does this sound like you? I remember the first couple months I had Vera in daycare I drove the daycare staff nuts. With all of my demanding requests from washing her hands to she needs her stuffed giraffe at nap-time. A few times the director pulled me aside to let me know I was making the teachers feel like they were walking on egg shells. I didn’t realize that was what I was doing, but I also didn’t know what else to do with the emotions towards someone else watching my child. Let’s take a look at some of the natural emotions that moms face when leaving their child for the day and how we can properly deal with these emotions.
I still remember the days I would wipe the black from my mascara running down my face after just balling my eyes out in the bathroom stall at work. I would be thinking of how I could possibly make it one more minute being in the office. Or the times I would be crying while watching Vera through the windows in the hall of the daycare on my lunch break just wanting to go home. It’s memories like these that keep me motivated to be a stay at home mom. But in the midst of these gut wrenching feelings giving up was not an option.
The first job I had after returning to work I left withing 2 1/2 months just to find myself back at work 2 months later with the same feelings of despair. I couldn’t leave again I had a responsibility to provide for my family and I wasn’t going to let some tear shed get in the way. Still to this day I deal with days of sadness but I have found that these are natural feelings of being a mother and that I can’t let them control me. I would stay at work until my shift was over even if it meant going to the bathroom to pull myself together. Your tears show that you have a loving heart towards your child and what better way than to enjoy the hours of the day you do have to spend with your loved ones.
Worry & Fear
Running through your head now as you leave for work are all the what if worst case scenarios. It is the fear of the unknown and the need to know that everything will be okay. But can we really let these fears and worry of what could happen stop us from living out our daily lives? Again, these emotions are yet just another way to show that you want what is best for your child. You want to be the one to make sure they are in good hands at all times.
These emotions can also be a way to steal your joy and for me my trust in God. That is why each morning I pray to God that he would protect my child and keep her safe. I believe that God is in control and ultimately my child belongs to him. He has given me the wisdom to make the best decisions for her and I am convinced that he is guiding me every step of the way. I refuse to live in fear and allow my mind to control me. I can’t express how grateful I am to be blessed with a healthy and joyous little girl who has great plans for her life. Please take the time to hold your child that much closer realizing how blessed you truly are.
I would have to say that this is the one emotion that will try to tell you that, “your not being a good parent”. Lies, lies, and more lies does this one word scream out to me. I understand that if you were purposely putting your child in a situation that is not right than you may get a sense that your doing something wrong. On the other hand, if your going to work to provide for your family and made childcare arrangements more than likely your doing something right.
Let’s take a closer look at this subject. Say you work until 5 pm and your baby was with your mom during that time. Your mom fed her, changed her diaper frequently, and played with her throughout the day, she even texted you with updates on how your baby is doing. The looks of this tells me that your guilt is not from who is watching her but rather the guilt of being away from her. The fact that your baby is receiving quality loving care should show that you are indeed doing a good job at making the best choices for your child’s well being on the topic of childcare.
After running through just a few emotions that you may face when away at work I want you to keep this in mind. Remember the story I told you about the director pulling me aside to tell me I was making the teachers feel that they were walking on eggshells? So not only was the staff miserable but I figured nobody will ever take care of her like I do. I had no intentions on making the teachers feel this way but rather just wanting Vera to receive every ounce of care that I myself would provide her with.
This same thought may be what your facing right now but let me tell you that it just shows that you want what is best for your child. What emotions have you dealt with when away at work? How did you cope?