What has kept me at my job when I really want to quit?

quitI can tell you, it’s sure not my boss.

I have been at my job for almost two years now. That’s a long time for me as I usually have a hard time sticking to one thing for too long. I think when I found myself as a sole financial provider for my daughter I felt as if I didn’t have any other choice.

Now I do want to share with you that for quite some time I have wanted to work from home. I have always had a tough time going to a job where I was tied down to someone else’s schedule.

What am I trying to achieve?

For the past 4 months I have attempted to create a plan to quit my day job where I can stay home and build a business. I have yet to achieve this but have hope to believe that I am on my way to obtaining this dream.

It’s always been in me. Being an entrepreneur. Since I was young I was always thinking of new things I could do to make money for myself. So you ask, “What’s the problem?”. I can’t tell you right now because I am not really even sure what it is.

Four months ago I decided I would start a blog, then I began to do a little freelance work. In the midst of both I became unmotivated. How could a driven person like me possibly become unmotivated? It happened but I would like to say I am getting back on track.

Instead of worrying about what to write and how I am going to make money, I have decided to just write. I have decided to allow God to lead me while I just rest in trusting him as well as to stop being the overly idealistic person that I am.

So to answer the question…What’s kept me at my day job when I really want to quit?

It’s not really a short answer as it’s a mixture of many things. So I will go down the list in hope that you could find some encouragement if you’re dealing with some of the same things.

I need to first supplement my income

To be honest, this is the number one reason for me and many on why I haven’t yet quit my day job.

Although I have an emergency fund and I could quit today if I needed to, I have a hard time with the idea of having to dip into my savings to support me.

The fear of not being successful as my savings begins to dwindle keeps a 10 foot gap between my bank account and handing in my notice. I am pretty sure I am not the only one who feels this way.

The Fear of Failure

As I just mentioned, the fear of not being successful as I have an idealistic mindset is keeping me trapped in this pit of “your here to make money for the company” job.

The truth is staring me right in the face. I am not there to make money for the owner and if that is the mindset I being conditioned to then I want no part of it.

So you’re asking…“Why are you still at your job?”.

Of course, not having any other income in the other main reason why I haven’t left yet is I am…

Being still…

There has been a lot of talk with some of my close family and friends on why I am still at this job. I struggle each day with anxiety, conflict, and constant dread. Not with the fear of being let go but to be there.

I am past that fear. The world has told people that you’re a failure if you are let go from your job. I see it as God has me exactly where I need to be at the moment and I will trust him to take care of me and my family.

I am not saying he’s going to hand me a paycheck every week but rather he knows my heart and my desire to be at home with my family and he shall direct my path .

My vacation is coming to an end and I am trying to gulp the thought of having to go back to work. Although I am dreading it I know that God is in control and he will guide me and give me what he knows I need.

What is keeping you at your job when you’re so ready to throw in the towel?

 

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3 thoughts on “What has kept me at my job when I really want to quit?”

  1. I think maybe if you are still scared to quit and go for it it’s because you simply aren’t ready. Something inside you knows that. Take a better look at your plan. Let someone else look at it. When it’s solid and you are confident you will know when the time is right. 🙂 Take that same amount of time you are worrying and do something productive with it! Give the worry to God and keep going for it!

  2. Thank you Autumn for the encouragement. I have actually officially left my day job to be at home and will be publishing that story next Tuesday. It definitely has been a challenge but the perseverance paid off which I will be sharing in next week’s post.

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