God's standards in marriage

Are you living for God’s standards in your marriage or your own

Have you ever been so angry at your spouse for wronging you that you felt it was excusable to stay mad at them regardless of what God says about this very thing? Answering this question leads you to think if you are living for God’s standards in your marriage or your own.

As a child of God who everyday desires to do what is pleasing to my God, I am guilty of this very thing. I am guilty of judging others seeing that they have double standards yet I have them myself.

We sometimes excuse our behavior

Are you that Christian who sometimes acts as if you are just going to do it your way knowing that God will forgive you or will understand why you didn’t follow his commandment?

I know I think that way sometimes to make my behavior excusable. And it’s not.

Let’s see what this looks like:

So there is a Christian wife who feels as if she is doing everything to be obedient to God’s Word and to be submissive to her husband. She reads her bible, goes to church, prays continuously, and believes she is on the right track to being a Godly woman. But then she has her husband. And although her husband is a Christian she believes he is not living up to God’s standards. He doesn’t really seem to lead his household and it just seems as if his priorities are out of order. He speaks as if he can pick and choose what he wants to live by according to the Word as if some things don’t apply to him.

She proceeds to be patient with him, stays faithful in prayer and reading God’s Word but on some occasions finds herself getting fed up with her fallible husband. She begins to have an attitude towards him as she figures he does the same thing. She sees him as a foolish man believing he is not being the Godly husband he should be.

And then she proceeds to write this post so that other women out there don’t make this same mistakes I have made.

Who am I to judge?

All along she has thought of her husband to not being “Godly” enough. But who am I to judge? The point here is that it is not your job to be so focused on what he is doing wrong because if you look back to the above scenario, you will end up doing and being the exact same person you were critical of.

God didn’t say “Submit to your husband ONLY if he loves you.

1 Peter 3:1-2 says,

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

There have been many times I have reflected on this exact scripture, especially in the moments that I have found great conflict and wanted God to show me what I can do on my part. And then have been times where I ask God, “Why do I have to carry all the responsibility of winning my husband?” “Why is there not a command in there for him to have to follow in order to win my heart?”.

Well let me tell you something, don’t worry about what God is calling your husband to do. You just need to focus on what God is asking of you. God will deal with your husband. Amen!

Take a look at a few things God has asked of you as a wife:

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

Titus 2:5 “be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

1 Peter 3:1-2

Then you have almost an entire chapter on the wife of noble character found in Proverbs 31:10-31 and then there is 1 Corinthians 13 starting at verse 4 that talks all about what love is.

You’re accountable for you, God will deal with your husband

Wow! That is a lot for us wives to work on and of course, we can’t do it alone but with the help of Jesus. But you have got to admit that what wives are held accountable for is plenty to fill our plates and we have no room to be taking on what our husband is asked to do. Again, God will deal with your husband. If you want to have your hand in helping your husband, you can do so by praying for him.

But in the meantime, start praying for God to help you be the wife HE HAS CALLED YOU TO BE!

Find out when I gave myself permission to just “Be Still”

God's standards in marriage

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2 Comments

  1. So did you just come into my head saw what was there and write!
    Oh sweet Lord what conviction!
    Lorin! God has been speaking every single word of what you wrote to my heart. It was no intent of mine to disobey, just frustrated at the process. Just before i read your blog these thoughts flowed through my head. I want to thank you for allowing God to write a letter to me using your hands. For me to disobey now would be sinful. I bless you today! Thank you!

  2. Thank you Lureta for this confirmation. I am blessed to see that God used this story to impact you. It encourages me to continue to be faithful and listen to His still small voice prompting me to hit “publish” even when I want to hit delete.

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