A Proven Reward System For Kids That Really Works
You’ve read every book that gives you high hopes that your child can be completely transformed if you do this or that, and although many of the books I read have helpful advice on parenting, I still felt defeated after trying the tried and true steps. So I decided to create a reward system for kids that I found more promising than just giving my child everything they wanted which really was helping no one in the long run.
When I say, a proven reward system for kids, I am saying this is what is working for us. Every child is different and unfortunately, not every strategy out there may work for you. The best thing that you can do is come up with what works for you and your child.
The first step YOU need to take
As parents, we sometimes feel guilty for so many things such as working too much or not wanting our child to hate us if we don’t give in to their tantrums so we instead answer to their every demand.
Stop with the guilt. We are here to guide our children so that even if they don’t like us now they will thank us later for everything we have done and are.
With that being said, I would say if you are reading this, you are off to a good start because you’re eager in making an investment in your child. A positive investment that can make a lasting impact.
Related Read: Lessons Learned Once You Become A Parent
How does this reward system for kids actually give positive results?
Responsibility- It allows your child to take responsibility for their actions- Instead of just paying allowance when chores are done they will understand how good choices are rewarded and wrong choices have consequences. It allows them to choose. Feel free to write (your child’s name) behavior chart at the top so they take more ownership that this behavior chart belongs to them.
Perseverance- It gives your child a sense of motivation and perseverance. “If I get 10 more tokens, I can earn that fun day at the zoo”. And they know that if they lost tokens for wrong choices they will need to continue to make better choices in order to get the reward of going to the zoo.
Action Steps- Because they are responsible for their actions, they will begin to not see you as the person who didn’t buy them that toy but instead “If I want that toy, I need to earn it”. And you can take joy in knowing you were a part of the process of molding and shaping them. They will appreciate you for it even if you don’t hear it.
Learning Numbers and Letters (Ages 4-6)- Throughout the process your child also has the opportunity to learn basic adding and subtracting, the value of items, saving for things, and if you use lettered beads as tokens they can practice their letters.
Reward System For Kids Instructions:
1. Token values- The chart has a list of right choices and wrong choices. Right choices earn 1 token and wrong choices lose 1 token. A token can be anything from beads, paperclips, or popsicle sticks. You choose.
2. Managing Tokens- Every time your child makes a right choice you add a token and if a wrong choice is made, they lose a token.
The tokens can be collected in a small container. (we use an empty cheese container that has a flip top) You can even have them decorate it! If it makes it easier. You can do the tokens at the end of the day but doing it throughout I have found to be more motivating.
3. Choosing Prizes- At the end of the week, your child can exchange their tokens for something awesome.
Depending on the number of tokens they have accumulated will determine what item they can get. And if they don’t have enough to get the highest ticketed item, they can choose to save their tokens. This will teach your child the concept of saving.
Don’t Give Up
The first day may be a challenging as it’s something new. So make sure you persevere.
If your child is used to getting anything they want regardless of their behavior they may be in shock at first but it will wear off.
(The first day, I wanted to throw away the chart but figured I would give it another day. Glad I did!)
Once it becomes a part of your daily routine your child will get in the habit of knowing how things work now.
T.V. Time Tip: (Optional) You may have noticed there is no tv time as a prize. That’s because I implemented tv time in the process. If your child goes a day without losing any tokens, they get to have tv/game time for 15-30 mins (you choose). This keeps them focusing on the reward of right choices throughout the week versus waiting until the end of the week before they get rewarded.
Have a question? Would you like to share how this reward system for kids worked out?
Let us know!